Take the time to read this moving reflection written by a husband who cares for his wife with dementia, his reflection focuses on the rewards and challenges that comes from caring for someone you love.
Reflections of a Dementia Carer…
I’ve only ever had one marriage, but somehow I seem to have acquired a second wife.
I wasn’t asked. She just arrived, entirely unplanned. I’ve heard claims that babies
arrive this way; but two wives? That was almost three years ago and I sometimes wonder: if two wives, could there be a third wife in the future? That would not be welcome, but maybe I should prepare. Although I still catch glimpses of my first wife she doesn’t linger. Gradually my new wife is taking over. Thankfully, thus far, she does seem to share some of the lovely nature that my first wife possessed ‘in spades’, which I understand may not always be so with dementia sufferers. She also possesses a degree of that enviable quality of stoicism, sometimes displayed by those carrying a heavy load. Both these are big plus points.
This doesn’t mean that disturbances haven’t occurred since her arrival. They have. It
was perhaps only to be expected. She brought with her some rather odd, weird,
even shocking behaviours. This did make life rather challenging as we strove to
reproduce the satisfying, happy lives we had both previously experienced. Whilst my
wife had to contend with the losses ‘gifted’ by her dementia I was grappling with my
new wife’s unreal ‘Alice-in-Wonderland’ world.
Her arrival as wife number two was accompanied by a flood of information, advice
and tons of paper from both local and national sources. A sort of dowry, full of good
advice and helpful tips, which was much appreciated, leaving me to create my own
individual caring plan.